kaida_x_ko

Promises promises.

I ate my words and a hell of a lot of candy


You said that we would be okay this time. I should have known you were just another liar.

I suppose it's sad when you care about the passing of your cat more than you care about the passing of your own father ne?

I've been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man
And it's a sad, sad world
When a girl will break a boy
Just because she can

Don't you tell me to deny it
I've done wrong and I wanna suffer for my sins
I've come to you cause I need guidance to be true
And I just don't know where I can begin
Ooh, Ooh, Ooh

I feel dirty and awful. I feel like a horrible human being. I've done so much wrong. I've fallen apart.


I have to make amends, but I'm terrified to open my mouth. I've fucked up good this time. I really have.


I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.




fuck.

Ignore me. Do it. I dare you.

You come with so much baggage... _{I told you I was slightly damaged.}







What you had wasn't a relationship. It was sick and twisted, and not a relationship. It was meaningless.

Please, don't make me laugh. Meaningless? What we had, or, what I thought we had meant something to me. If it hadn't would I have fought for it for so long? Would I have kept trying? Coming from you, it hurts worse. Of anyone I would have thought you would understand where I'm coming from. No one in this family is with out damage. Especially not you. Especially.not.You.


Ashamed, ashamed, ashamed, ashamed. I feel like this word will forever follow me.



They all could be right, maybe you did break me.

god I'm so scared.

I've found someone new, but I can not forget. I don't want to be one of those people, I don't want to rebound is it? But he's so handsome. Ah I die a little inside every time I see him. In a good way I suppose ne?

For now I leave with a promise that I will return. There's more to say but no time.

She's too heartbroken to try. Miserable and lonely. She hates you. She loves you.

She's sorry she started this. It was all her fault wasn't it? No, no, you gsvr in, it's just as much your fault isn't it? No one should ever be allowed to smile at you like that, and then break your heart. She still has a lot of growing up to do, but please stop forcing her to be normal. It won't happen, not yet. Not yet.

I learned the lesson that sometimes it's better to keep your mouth shut not too long ago. While I was playing my game too. Damn it.


I have really anything to say, but I promised that I would start updating again didn't I?


So I'm sorry, but this is all I have.

I think, I'm going to try and update more. Maybe if I make this more interesting to myself, then I can keep at it. But who knows ne? I'll give it my best shot.

I supposedly asked Ruru to marry me last night. I don't remember it at all. Sleep walking perhaps? Is there such a thing as sleep proposing? Who knows? He said no, but my heart isn't broken about it. Why would it be? I don't even remember asking. Silly me ne?

No. Bad. Writing.


I want to watch some movies, and play a few games. I'd love to play Halo again, but my gaming buddy is too busy lately I think. I've not seen him around. Maybe I'll see him again soon and I can convince him to play against me. Or maybe I'll just try and get my uncle to keep playing me in Mortal Kombat.

She said that she hopes you die and rot in hell. Those words, really did come out of her mouth. She doesn't know if she meant it or not. She thinks she does though. She thinks you deserve it.


She stood with the phone to her ear. Quietly listening. Understanding that there was a chance that you might not come back. Secretly hoping that you wouldn't. She listened as she was told to make mention to you that she was indeed a live, and that she knew you were too.


A brief conversation later, and she was onto bigger better things. There's a loophole that you don't know about yet, but she'll tell you when the time comes. Forever will be all too short.


She missed his skin, even if it felt itchy.

I don't know what happened last night. It was like someone poked a hole in me.

I remembered that I'm not right, and no matter how much I make myself believe that I am, I'm not and I still have everything to prove it. I can tell you that I'm a girl to your face, and I can tell you that I'm transgendered. I'm okay with that, I know who I am. What I didn't expect was to suddenly remember that for now, even if it's just physically I am not a girl. I want to be right so bad.

In the dream I had, I was perfect. I guess it's okay if you fall asleep crying to wake up crying too. I think this is going to be a long day.

Has anyone else seen those new cars.com commericals? I really like the one with the witch doctor. Actually I just saw it, and I thought it was funny.




I went out and got drunk the other day with my uncle and some of his friends. I had a good time but I'm not supposed to do it again. hah. We'll see.

I had a dream, that I went in for surgery and didn't come out. I bled to death on the table. I woke up and looked around and couldn't fall back asleep for a long time. I just could stare at my clock. I wanted to wake someone up, but no one has been sleeping too well lately.

I hope I never have a dream like that again.

I'm back! I had a great time but it's nice to be home ne? Travel can certainly take it's toll ya know? I feel so tired, but I really did have an amazing time ya?

I don't have a lot to say right now. I'm too tired to think.

So much to do, so much to do, so much to do......

Last night I kept singing "happy birthday to me" over and over in my head.

I hope I get a cake today. (⌒∀⌒)

Everything is so up and down. I think things are going to be okay this time though.

I was always so afraid of losing my best friend that I almost completely lost my best friend. So we talked about it, and about what needed to be talked about and I think that everything is going to be okay.

Oh and my uncle, he is amazing because he helped so much. ♥

I think it's my goal now to find someone here that knows the tunak tunak tun dance and is also someone who is willing to do it with me.

My uncle comes back home tonight for a little bit until he leaves again on thursday. I really hope that we can talk for a bit about what has come up before he goes again.

I had the best night of my life, followed by the worst.


I guess you're right, this never would go anywhere. But it makes us both so happy and I don't understand why that's bad.


I feel used.


I wish my uncle weren't away on business. I miss him. He's been gone for a day but I really need him right now.

This does not do well for my ego, you fucker. I hate you. I hate you I hate you I hate you.

I'm the fucking Diva here ne? Now get back in line!

There are 9 days between now and my birthay, and I've just been told that I'll be going to Japan in December. I suppose today has started off well.　（ｃ☆＿☆）ｖ

I think I need to find the latest issue of ZY? Is that it?